Never wearing my heart on my sleeve – only on here.

26 Mar

ola! Bonjour! hello!!

It’s been so long I haven’t blogged I do apologise if you were a regular viewer probably my Mum, Auntie and Sue and of course Gaz :D….

I haven’t been up to much really I don’t suppose! Christmas came and went.  Me and Gaz made some cool Jamie Oliver ice sculptures, and we went to Austria at the end of Jan skiing… I’ll have to put a video up of us skiing… It does make me laugh I’m a bit of a nutcase on the old wooden planks visually impaired or not.

We had an app on Gaz’s iPhone to monitor our speed, and I am probably wrong in saying this but I’m sure I hit around 52 mph….(we went to a really quiet resort to cater for my special needs Loli!).  I was considering wearing a high vis jacket with a spray paint eye on it, but maybe next year.  It was great, I wasn’t so good if the slopes got busy – I would just stop and wait for people to go and semi hope for the best……joking.. I was fine… My dad or gaz would normally lead the way and I would go down the slopes in parts…..


Also, Happy Birthday to my lovely “man in my life” haha, 30 years old  on March 10th.  I love you loud and proud! Everyone needs a Gaz in their lives<3 Xxx

The last few weeks I’ve been job hunting.. I just want a normal working life, going to the work place and coming home etccccc… Making my singing and the Band more of a hobby than a job.

I do feel a bit like I have some talents… I’d love to do interior design and be the next Linda Barker, but I feel the opportunities aren’t there for me as employers may not understand when they here the word blind….

I made a list of part time things I could do:

  • Cleaner
  • Sales assistant
  • Bla
  • Bla bla

I have found it hard finding links and opportunities to suit my needs…

Being positve and proactive I am though starting a florist course in a couple of weeks.  I hope I love it, and hope it makes my hands shake (something I do when I’m excited) and hope to start an apprenticeship and then get into work that way.

I really think there should be some kind of service, I know there are things like advice, but there are no job ideas or anything and when searching the internet on massive font it’s not easy…..Arghhh!

I know there are gadgets to help when you get into a work place, but anything computer based is a nightmare for me!. I’ve never been interested in computing before this disease started, so I need something arty fatty to get by.

I do hope these blogs are not too long but I do find it therapeutic putting what in thinking down on this wee page…

There have been tears recently but once there out, there out….  It just gets to the point where I try to block the problem as much as possible, and then when something happens it just tips me over the edge so to speak!!..  I ordered a taxi to take me home from a primary school I do some singing work at and ended being stranded at in the middle of nowhere!  After the taxi at first being over half an hour late while I was stood outside in the cold, I rang the company and they said, like ususal, “it’ll just be a couple more minutes”.  After two more hours in the freezing cold just wearing a thin coat and a dress (with tights Loli), the school had locked up and I was outside, alone, in the dark.   I thought whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!  Why do I need to stand here waiting for a generally horrible,smelly taxi, in the middle of nowhere, when everyone else just get in their car with the heaters and drive away. Argggh!  Annoying that my dad actually taught me to drive, and I am more than competent, just my eyes let me down…. If only things could be different…

I have also been experiencing lots of dizziness lately, especially when I’m in a car.  I think as the blind spots have gone bigger, I find myself in a trance, and the motion of speed and the colours flashing by just makes me wanna puke…. Have a nice day on that note! 🙂

Oh yeah I joined the gym too!..  It’s been great focusing energy on something else.  I have been doing Zumba, I stand right at the front, just behind the instructor so I can see the best I can… I’m sure the instructor thinks I’m her stalker Loli!


I could never see my eye liners in my makeup box, so I’ve painted blue nail varnish on them so they stand out rather than feeling around for them there just there now! #goodthinkingbatman








3 Responses to “Never wearing my heart on my sleeve – only on here.”

  1. Auntie March 26, 2013 at 11:15 am #

    Keep your chin up babes, love you, beautiful neice xxx ps who wants to drive anyway its horrendous sometimes too much traffic and road rage lol xxx

  2. Mama March 26, 2013 at 6:25 pm #

    Great to see your latest blogg. Love to read better than my Kindle ha ha. Also you never mentioned my fantastice skiing skills!! I wounder why!! Keep that smile going and shake your hands xx Mama xx
    PS live your blue handles xx

    • CHUCK April 9, 2013 at 6:13 pm #

      hey kid my name is chuck i’m 62 and have been legally blind from the age of 15 or so- (stargartd’s) frustrating at times for sure -you talked about going to the gym if you enjoy that maybe you can look into becoming certified to become a personal trainer for a career—also i have learned that frustration is not your friend –when you don’t see well you have to slow down when learning new things —i’m like you i only tell people on a need to know basis or i will open up on a stargartd’s site like this —-be strong

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